Just watched the classic, Smokey and the Bandit II. Of course it’s not quite as good as the first, but what a stellar movie, nonetheless. If you’ve never seen it, watch it. Watch them both. Then your life can truly begin. I maintain that Burt Reynolds is one of the manliest dudes to ever walk Lady Earth.
Speaking of manly dudes. I figure a great way to start off the launch of the new HOI site is by having a good old fashioned Top 5 list. So here goes. My Top 5 manliest men of all time, in order…
1.Johnny Cash
2.Burt Reynolds
3.Clint Eastwood
4.Ol’ Dirty Bastard
5.Patrick Swayze
Yeah, I said Patrick Swayze. Don’t kid yourself. Sure the guy did the fruity dance routines in Dirty Dancing, and he cried like a child in Ghost. But he also beat up, like, a thousand guys in Roadhouse and fought off the entire Russian Army in Red Dawn. That man is versatile. And he’s got a first degree black belt in Machismo.
So those 5 are my quintessence of all things dude. These are the male role models you turn to when you’re confused as to how a man is supposed to act in any given situation. Feel free to list your own or disagree with the particular order I’ve put them in.
Pain don’t hurt – Patrick Swayze: Roadhouse
I don’t know if he deserves a top 5 spot but damnit, James Tiberius Kirk himself – William Shatner – deserves honorary mention.
My top five manly men (in no particular order):
1. Beat Takeshi.
2. The Thing.
3. Ben Hammersley.
4. Ernest Hemingway.
5. Sampson, from the Bible.
man… William Shatner.. totally overlooked that one.
hahhaa The Thing. That’s a great one. I meant real people, but that totally works.
these two shine like beacons in the night…
charles bronson and jrb
Shatner is a pussy… I just heard he was taken to the hospital from the set of Boston Legal with back pain. If you can’t take the physical demands of Boston Legal, it’s time to hang up your manly man belt.
Khan Noonien Singh. He is all you need to know on how to be a man.
Can you get any manlier than this?
Ah yes… Montalban ser muy macho.
i can’t believe that all of you chicken heads would have the testicular fortitude to leave out the most manliest of all manz OF ALL TIME…..D00D
In a category all his own, at one point known as Detective Nordberg but to the rest of the world as the best football running back of all time…do i even have to mention it? THE JUICE
Football hero, hollywood cinematic icon, hero to all men and feared by white women who don’t know how to listen when they’re being told. Hey, pimpin ain’t easy. But if i had to make a list of MORTAL men, it’d run something like this.
1. MR.T
and if i could even begin to put any other cocks in the same category as B.A., it might go a lil something like this:
2. Chuck ‘don’t make me kick Van Damme’s ass again’ Zito
tight with hogan, total biker. And down with Oz. Nazi inmate cock sucking. Nothing more Dudelier than that.
3. Razor Ramon. Dude, just an ounce of his machismo would make
your father leave the house to pick up chinese food to only NEVER return. Ever.
4. Bob Probert. Detroit Red Wings. Goon Extraordinaire. St.Louis VS The Wings. Had a dude in a headlock, punching another dude at the same time. Had luscious hair as well.
5. If memory serves me right….Takeshi Kaga
If you care not to take it from me…peep what Simone has to say
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3767/dreamland/kagagogo.html
Honourable Mentions:
Joey Greco. Dude risks his livelihood just to help those broken hearts find truth beyond the web of lies by cheaters worldwide. DUDE, he even took a shanking ON A BOAT..lived to tell the story AND keep on trucking.
Akeem The African Dream.
you think sporting a mohawk and jean vest made him bad ass? Dude, a blue and yellow dashiki and he still wooped ass. Not even Cobb County Georgia could touch that.
fuck, i TOTALLY left out another mass croosh manly mention:
Foolkiller aka Kurt Gerhardt. One man, and a disintegrator gun. First looking like a pirate of revenge, then a blood thirsty denim demon with a gimp mask. Issue 1, October 1990, written by Steve Gerber. JJ Birch on pencils. The issue was ingeniously titled ‘Mad…As In ANGRY’. Basically, it’s more or less the ‘Falling Down’ of the comic world. Frank Castle..pshaw..pied piper of nu-metal skull shirts everywhere. Kurt Gerhardt, an everyday man driven to extremes, and the people who get in his way. nuff said.
I just thought of a manly man…Steve Mc(freakin’)Queen!
I agree with most of the entries on this list but, as much as I love him, ODB doesn’t deserve to be up there. If impregnating people makes you manly, then Nagy should be top of the heap. The man is the epitome of the Trickster archtype, but not altogether manly. I’d replace him with Shatner, ben Grimm, or me. I honestly can’t believe you left me off of the list.