The House of Irony / October, 2005

Let’s go!

Just watched Green Street Hooligans. It’s a wicked movie about soccer thugs and brotherhood. Think Fight Club meets Romper Stomper.. without the nazis.

The standout performance in this movie is Charlie Hunnam. He plays the leader of the soccer gang/firm that Elijah Wood’s character falls in with. I hope this guy gets huge. Elijah Wood gave a great performance as well, but I kept waiting for him to say, “Tell me more about Samwise the Strong…”

I know that by bringing up Joss Whedon’s resurrection of Colossus that I’m no doubt beating a horse long dead, but I only just got an opportunity to read the first Astonishing X-Men storyarc, Gifted.

I have to preface any praise I have with the fact that I’ve been completely in the dark regarding comics for a couple years, and can’t say I knew a single thing about this before I picked it up at Chapters. For instance, I didn’t know John Cassaday was the artist, I didn’t know Colossus was being brought back, so no doubt a lot of my impression stems from those facts.

If this comic was made for anyone, it’s me. I was hooked on the first page with Kitty Pryde. Whedon’s preference for dialogue suits this comic, and the interaction between characters is believable and well deserved. As for Colossus’ return, well, it certainly didn’t hit me that hard, mostly due to the fact that it barely registered when he died, the character so badly mangled he was unrecognizable. No, what got to me was the reaction of the other characters, Kitty Pryde’s tears, the unspoken Fastball special, I bought in right away, coming back to life made natural.

And that’s the crux of my feelings—Beyond everything else, I appreciate the respect Whedon gives these characters, and feel this is the closest the X-Men have been to their core in a very long time. I’ve always believed that someone would come along and not just breathe life into the series, but come with a very reverent and comfortable understanding of what the characters really are. This may seem nostalgic, and I can’t deny it to some degree, but the X-Men have been maligned for more than a decade, and it’s nice to see a return to form, albeit more modern.

All I can say is, this comic needs Nightcrawler. I don’t care how, it just has to happen.

CNN has a the story of how they found the frozen remains of a WWII pilot on a mountain in California. I don’t even have to read the story. I already know the details.

His name is Steve Rogers. And under his uniform, he is wearing what looks to be a costume decorated with the stars and stripes of Old Glory. Strangely, the ice has perfectly preserved his body. He is believed to be a legendary hero of WWII.

You can go to CNN and compare their story with mine for inconsistencies. If there are any, then they’re liars. I’m totally right.

Been listening a lot to the new Danger Doom album, a collaboration between MF Doom and Danger Mouse, with guest appearances from Cartoon Network characters. It’s as bizarre as it sounds, believe me.

The thing that strikes me the most with it, and there’s a lot to love, is how completely off the hook Danger Mouse’s beats are—there’s some serious crunk in the trunk—and it was the same, actually even more so, with the Gorillaz album. These are songs that force me to dance wherever I hear them, in the car, on the couch, in the headphones. There’s one specifically, Benzie Box, that almost makes me sick. Just crazy, listen to it. Jesus.

Including his (easily top 5 album of the 2000s) Grey Album, now we’re talking three over-the-top albums in a single year. How fantastic is that? Is Danger the next Timbaland?

Hate has been my best friend since 3rd grade when he made me eat paste. That is until I found Lewis Black. Winner of the 2001 American Comedy Awards, Lewis is as angry and animated as he is poignant and intelligent. With a keen eye for the common sense of issues, Lewis Black is the kind of comedian that makes you say “oh yeah, now that makes sense” as much as “bwahahahahaha!”

But don’t let his frenetic gesticulations fool you. His words are acidic, but he has a heart of gold. This Yale graduate spends as much time pointing out the stupidity of the system as he does volunteering his time to help people less fortunate. Hell’s kitchen is where he spends much of his free time helping children there learn how to act and write their own plays. As well, he has helped many new talents a chance by giving them the spotlight in his theatre in Manhattan.

Black follows in the ornery footsteps of such comics as George Carlin and Bill Hicks, pointing out the stupidity of humanity with the simplest of solutions. In the words of one critic, “his anger level hits about 8 on the television shows he makes appearances on. But it can hit 15 in his live act!” Lewis Black is a truly brilliant comedian who’s raw and witty comments can leave you reeling with the simplicity of the solutions they offer.

I am a tall birdlike being that likes sexual intercourse, games, talking shit and laughing. I was born from a Dutch mother and a Hungarian father but was raised by a gaggle of marsupials on the bank of the Welland River. Growing up my idols were Motley Crue, Jesus, and then back to Motley Crue.

For a period of my life, I lived with 4 people I respect and admire very much, and every day was an adventure. From crazy bus whore, to squirrels in the attic, to Pisiak trying to get a bitch out of his room (so he can lay the mack on), to Wintle getting ready for court; by watching court TV, to Karissa making everyone craft presents for XMAS, to Kevin telling me to shut my girlfriend up during sex, to the best parties St Catharines has seen – It was one thing after another. We celebrated our antics and our gifts through a web portal known as www.houseofirony.com.

We decided to start our midlife crises ahead of schedule and celebrate anew. After years of slumber the site returns; at a time when we are all more focused and zealous about our passions. (It also helps that we no longer live together, as EA’s NHL 2001 prevented anything from getting done). We are also joined by one of our closest and most sexually masterful friends William P, who is the only known man to possess pictures of the fabled Crawbear beast.

International friends, enter the House of Irony; enter all of us.

By the way. Kevin told me that I had to introduce myself and that if I didn’t, then me and him were gonna tangle in Thunderdome (his exact words). So here goes.

I’m Mike and I lived in the real life House of Irony with most of the other people on this site. I’m pretty much the muscle of the group. Whenever something shady or dirty needs taking care of or cleaning up, I’m the guy they call. I’m kinda like The Wolf in Pulp Fiction.

So, enjoy the site… if you know what’s good for you.

Just watched the classic, Smokey and the Bandit II. Of course it’s not quite as good as the first, but what a stellar movie, nonetheless. If you’ve never seen it, watch it. Watch them both. Then your life can truly begin. I maintain that Burt Reynolds is one of the manliest dudes to ever walk Lady Earth.

Speaking of manly dudes. I figure a great way to start off the launch of the new HOI site is by having a good old fashioned Top 5 list. So here goes. My Top 5 manliest men of all time, in order…

1.Johnny Cash
2.Burt Reynolds
3.Clint Eastwood
4.Ol’ Dirty Bastard
5.Patrick Swayze

Yeah, I said Patrick Swayze. Don’t kid yourself. Sure the guy did the fruity dance routines in Dirty Dancing, and he cried like a child in Ghost. But he also beat up, like, a thousand guys in Roadhouse and fought off the entire Russian Army in Red Dawn. That man is versatile. And he’s got a first degree black belt in Machismo.

So those 5 are my quintessence of all things dude. These are the male role models you turn to when you’re confused as to how a man is supposed to act in any given situation. Feel free to list your own or disagree with the particular order I’ve put them in.

I found this wicked pic of Armstrong strumming the uke in the quarantine chamber after the moon landing. I got the pic from the site www.rockthatuke.com. It is a film about rock and roll uke players. I was Interviewed for the film but the footage was not used; something about me looking fat in my slacks.

At first, I completely fell in love with the new iPod, the one that plays the video on a slightly larger screen, you’ve probably seen it. I’ve cooled on it a bit, but only because I have no intention of buying the first version of any Apple product (there’s always bugs).

It’s definitely the most significant iPod released since the original, and it certainly realizes the idea of a portable entertainment unit, being able to carry a very wide cross section of media available at a moment’s notice. There are some first-gen kinks to be worked out: no FF or REV, an inability to play anything other then MPEG-4 video, but these things will be worked out either by the hackers or by Apple in subsequent versions, or by the various P2P sites (releasing iPod formatted files).

Like I said, I won’t be buying one, my only need for a portable currently is driving in the car, and the iPod shuffle suits that just fine. But once the bugs are worked out, this might be one situation where my technofever overpowers me.

Just watched the documentary, Murderball, a little while ago. It’s a great movie about the quadriplegic games where quads play a brutal, full contact rugby-like sport in souped up wheelchairs. The wheelchairs are made out of re-inforced steel, and the humans that pilot them are made out of fucking rock. The movie shows you just what these athletes go through to compete in this sport.

There are some funny moments in the film. And, yes, funny because it’s quads trying to do things that non-quads take for granted. Just watch the movie and the people in it and realize that if any of these guys thought you stopped yourself from laughing at them because you felt sorry for them, they would kick the living shit out of you on the spot.

I’m sure there will be a much more formal introduction to this site in the next while, but for a first post, let me welcome everyone back to the House of Irony, its doors now open after a brief hiatus of four years. Once a site to showcase the various projects of a very real house in St.Catharines, it’s now reinvented a virtual home for the previous inhabitants.

Should your memory not be as good as ours, the old site is available for your perusal, and I’m sure all participating parties will be reintroducing themselves.

As for me, my name is Kevin and I’m a boy genius, and as a boy genius, I know better than to talk about myself too much.