“I am become Death, destroyer of worlds.” – Shiva
Yes, you.
Recently, Kevin and I shared a short email correspondence concerning sites that have recently sent traffic our way. Kevin and I were especially impressed that comic superstar Fred Hembeck had linked to us on his blog. Or, as Kevin referred to him, Fred “Destroys the Marvel Universe” Hembeck. This statement made me rethink Mr. Hembeck’s true nature and the comic blog community’s relationship to him.
For years now Mr. Hembeck has been quietly running his site and regaling his audience with hilarious tales of near-forgotten entertainers, oddball comics and domestic slapstick on his blog. Both his artwork and his writing are endearingly innocent with just enough of a sense of mischief to be enjoyed by people of all ages. But to what purpose? Has he merely been lulling us into a false sense of complacency? And what do we really know about Mr. Hembeck?
Nearly two decades ago Mr. Hembeck committed one of the largest examples of Universicide the world has ever been witness to, a crime so heinous that I just made up a word for it. Unlike the pansies that comprise the comic industry these days, who require months if not years of lead-up to wreck a universe, Mr. Hembeck managed to annihilate all of Marvel comics in just one 32-page one-shot. Plus the inside front and back covers. No ads. He didn’t need a huge team of writers, artists, and editors to accomplish this. Give Mr. Hembeck a microwave oven, a light socket and a pair of canoes and let him at it. That’s half the job finished right there. Even the titles of recent ventures in Universicide have attempted to prettify the massacre taking place, with words such as “Infinity” and “Cuddle” being bantered about. Not so here, with the brutally unsentimental title “Fred Hembeck Destroys the Marvel Universe”. The man’s stone cold.
We seem to have forgotten about Mr. Hembeck’s crimes over the years, despite his brazen admission to the deed on his very own website. Those of us who do remember keep silent from fear of reprisal. Well, I’m tired of living in terror!
I’m onto you, Hembeck. Do your worst.
Disclaimer – The previous post has not been endorsed by the House of Irony or any of its other meek and servile members, all of whom are very grateful that the benevolent Mr. Hembeck has allowed us to exist to see just one more day. We don’t know this Steve guy.
Wintle just quoted mother fucking Shiva the destroyer!!
Fellow Members: As this post may result in Steve’s termination (it may have happened already!), I suggest we divide his comic collection evenly.
Actually, you, as so many others, have confused the cartoon Fred with the real Fred. While cartoon Fred can be a megalomaniacal egotist, the REAL Fred is a pussycat. I’ve known him for years.
There’s a difference between cartoons and reality?
??!
I’d just like to take a moment and back away from the above post.