Dedicated in part to Wheels’ father.
“Don’t skankify my friend.” – Paige
That wasn’t vodka Peter spiked the punch with. It was an aphrodisiac. There hasn’t been an episode of Degrassi this filthy since Emma lay in bed smiling after a night of receiving a social disease… in the throat! Everyone’s skankifying!
Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes return to Degrassi for the poutine, an interview with Tanya Kim of E-Talk Daily fame and the world premiere of Jay and Silent Bob Go Canadian, Eh! What, couldn’t get Ben Mulroney? Alex blows off Jay’s invitation to the premiere because Paige invited her first, and now Alex will finally have a chance to give ‘er. With diesel. Before they get a chance to experiment with their budding sexuality, Paige breaks the news that she invited Hazel in Alex’s place. Alex is understandably pissed and stomps off, forcing Paige to satisfy Kevin Smith’s weird Canadian fetish to gain an extra ticket. Alex is so pleased by this turn of events that she practically licks the make-up off of Paige’s face.
Unbeknownst to everyone, Jason Mewes mentally undresses the school Principal. Skankify!
Meanwhile, Emma and her new boy toy Peter, the Principal’s son, secretly converse through a half-empty bookcase in plain sight of the entire school body. You wouldn’t think Emma was so juvenile considering all the bracelets she collected in Social Disease Gully.
The school dress code disappears as the plunging necklines of the Degrassi student body make their way down the red carpet. Footage from Smith and Mewes’ last appearance make up the entirety of the screening, and the kids are ushered out of the theatre and into the kid’s table version of the after-party. Emma convinces Peter to trade the vodka he’s pouring into the punch for “liquor” (oo-er!) and they hide from Manny in the dark recesses of the theatre to make with the hickeys. But are they the only ones skankifying?!?
Marco is upset that he and Hazel aren’t able to crash the adult side of the celebration, but it really doesn’t surprise anyone considering the ugly outfit that Marco is wearing. Me-ow! Paige and Alex stretch their acting skills to the limit by pretending that they’re dyke strippers, and a little girl-on-girl action greases the wheels to let them through to the other side of the velvet rope. Jay, having observed all this, tries to make it a threesome, but is so brutally pathetic in his approach that you wonder how he ever received a social disease, let alone passed one around. The girls decide to keep their burgeoning romance private, and make their way out onto the dance floor for a little jailbait bump-and-grind. Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes look on in both disbelief and boner-enhancing sweat pants, and briefly consider whether they should join in and cross swords themselves . Thankfully, this is only hypothetical skankifying.
So far a bit of a tease of an episode, until Emma and Peter neck their way into the theatre proper and catch their parents dry humping. It takes an awful lot for me to gasp out loud during an episode of Degrassi, but this development caught me completely off-guard. Bad enough that Snake is cheating on Emma’s mom with his boss, but now all that teenage groping and fumbling between Emma and Peter seems a whole lot more incestuous, Dunville-style.
Paige and Alex leave everyone a parting gift of tight inseams in their chinos and make their way to Alex’s house for some shoes, and by shoes, I mean bumping uglies. Coitus interruptus as Alex’s mom awakens from her drunken stupor and regales Paige with stories about her daughter’s childhood. As they’re about to leave, Alex’s mom and a man I’m assuming is the plumber have an argument and Alex gets thrown into an end table in a classic study of Degrassi domestic abuse.
Back at the home of Snake and Spike, Emma is compulsively making tea and letting her mascara run while waiting for Snake’s return. Just seconds after he walks through the door, she confronts him about his skankifying ways. He returns with a verbal volley of his own, asking her if she has ever done something she knew was wrong with someone she shouldn’t have been with. He looks mockingly at her throat as he speaks. This is a man who has faced Death in a bathroom stall. Don’t toy with him. He will bury you.
Alex and Paige have a slumber party after Paige promises to clear out all the end tables first. Then they make out for two glorious seconds. But before they move onto the pillow fight and styling each others hair, Paige freaks out and makes tracks to the sofa downstairs. Yet another sensitive issue dealt with in the inimitable Degrassi style. Already my videotape of the program is being worn down in certain places.
Next Week – The Lexicon of Love continues as Paige finds she has no one to turn to for advice and chooses Kevin Smith as a last resort. And the Spike ladies double-team Snake, but not in the skankifying way. Also, I retire the term “skankify” and all related uses.
the plot had some commonalities to school’s out. spike fresh off of having a baby, was not putting out. so in joey jeremiah like fashion, our good man snake decided to go all ‘tessa campenelli’ and play tonsil hockey with the principal.
snake is a fucking hypocrite, begging emma not to tell since, even though he ratted out joey. karma’s a bitch archibald…
now if only spinner would get into a car and drive drunk, then the degrassi universe would come full circle and pay homage to the best character ever, derek ‘wheels’ wheeler.
my fingers are crossed…
this was synopsis was even better than last week’s, but this week’s episode was so much worse.
i like the degrassi connection about snake’s karma barker. I never thought of that. i was just so mad because it’s out of snake’s character to do that. at least if he were to cheat on spike, they should have brought michelle back on!
oh, and my favourite part “This is a man who has faced Death in a bathroom stall. Don’t toy with him. He will bury you.” AWESOME!
i think the only thing i enjoyed about lastnight’s episode was alex’s mother. she was just like kathleen’s mom! i love it when degrassi characters get in big fights with their parents and move out. rick, michelle, wheels, manny and now alex. i’m probably forgetting some.
Wow! You really make this show sound like fun. However, I watched it and it wasn’t half as enjoyable as your synopsis. I’m a long time Degrassi devotee and ever since the school shooting the show’s not quite as enjoyable.
Yeah, Katie, it would be great if they brought back Snake’s old flame Michelle back, or Melanie!
This might be of interest to all of you, CTV is showing a retrospective on Degrassi (hosted by Snake) this Saturday. I believe it’s airing at 7pm or possibly 8pm.
this episode was a very good and pleasurable one too for some people
[including the bisexual, me] it had some very contrasting points to it which were needed, e.g. there was already a gay romance, all that’s left needed is a lesbian romance to complete it,huh? snake’s “rebellion” and mischievious ways with the principal were brought upon very well, as to the previous commenting phrase “karma is a bitch, archibald”...yes, and other than that, the show was just completely mediocre. Degrassi seems to have lost its touch, so it has been bringing up mature content.
Omg.. that episode was hot! eheheheheheh
Woah…That was definitely one raunchy episode. I was not expecting that…
The Snake affair caught me completely off-guard and solidified my interest in the series, which I haven’t actually watched in years. I haven’t been this excited about Degrassi since the Next Generation began, which seems to put me at odds with the majority of you.
And Barker, I hadn’t even considered the Tessa Campenelli comparison. I guess that’s why they pay you the big bucks.
I am very upset that you would make Paige into a lesbian. She is known for getting guys how and when she wanted them. Of all people, Alex! I have to say that it was a very bold step in making Paige kiss Alex, but hopefully you won’t make any of my other favorite characters gay or bisexual. I have no problem with Marco, because he was gay from the beginning. I truly hope that this the first and last character you are going to corrupt
Despite the Paige, this is still my favorite show. DEGRASSI RULEZ
!!
Well I do respect you and your decision to make one of the sexiest women on degrassi gay. What is left for me. Now when I look @ her, all I can see is her kissing Alex
THAT WAS DEFINITELY ONE OF THE MOST HARDCORE EPISODES OF DEGRASSI EVER!! With the Emma thing, where she had a “Social Disease”, hardcore, yes, but not like this. Good kod guys. Keep it up.
“I am very upset that you would make Paige into a lesbian.”
Nicole, I wish I could say that I am sorry that I made one of your favourite characters gay, but I would be lying if I didn’t say that I think it’s kind of hot. I hope that one day I can have Spinner or J.T. chug a little cock (just the tip, so it doesn’t really count) or entice the remainder of the female cast members to indulge in the sapphic arts.
I hope you appreciated the scene I did in the season finale where Paige banged the fuck out of Spinner. That was dedicated to you.
And, Benny, you’re welcome. We’ll try to keep the quality up to your lofty standards.
I need to know what the name of the song is, which Paige and Alex are dancing to, at the VIP party?
?!
Steven,you are so nasty. Paige is my favorite character and she still is. I am going to miss how Paige used to talk about guys all the time, now she’s gonna talk about Alex. The wierd thing about this is Alex said that she wasn’t gay. I guess she changed her mind. Man that is so wierd
!!
Paige and Alex are so perfect for each other it was a great idea!
Why would you say that Julie? They aren’t perfect for each other because they are both girls.
I need to know what the name of the song is, which Paige and Alex are dancing to, at the VIP party?
please send me the answer to my email camivelez28@hotmail.com
!
or just right down right here
Wow Nicole you are ever so wrong.
Paige and Alex are awesome for each other. They look great together and I could not imagine one without the other. Watching as Alex had her heart broken time and time again in season six was horrible, but the season finales plenty made up for it. Love them, they’re such a good role model for lesbian couples of today. [: