The House of Irony / November, 2005

Just just just finished watching Entourage—it’s freaking me out how everything from HBO is gold. I just don’t understand their track record, and I’m starting to get a little spooked.

As a series that follows an actor rising through the Hollywood ranks, Entourage really flaunts the new draw of being on television, with all its cameos and rich living. This is a show strictly about the good life, where most character dilemmas revolve around what to spend their money on, and the closest they get to despair is a doomed relationship with Mandy Moore. It’s pure fantasy fulfillment, and will no doubt be responsible for a bunch of people moving to LA to pursue this very lifestyle.

It’s just too bad the episodes go by so fast, because I could seriously watch this show forever. I mean, it’s practically a soap opera, why shouldn’t it be on every day?

For the past month I’ve been researching a particular type of film called the “giallo,” a highly stylish kind of suspense film, usually from 1960s and 1970s Italy . It’s difficult to define, but gialli usually involve a killer with black leather gloves, amateur sleuths, copious amounts of nudity and beautifully staged, creatively violent murders. But as I’ve since found out, simplifying gialli to mere boobs, blood and black gloves is merely skimming the surface.

What’s made me rethink my opinion is a fantastic little blog called Killing With Style, by Sylvain L. Though I don’t quite agree with all of Sylvain’s opinions (I thought the pleasures of The Case of the Bloody Iris far outweigh the flaws), I have to admit that many of the posts have me reevaluating certain aspects of a giallo-themed project I’m working on, all for the good. Sylvain’s lyrical little thoughts on giallo are revelatory while retaining a crisp brevity that allowed me to zip through the entire blog in one sitting. All in all, a great primer for someone just starting to explore this dark corner of World cinema or as an alternate view on the subgenre for the more experienced giallo aficionado.

A moment of silence for Eddie Guerrero who passed away yesterday. Eddie had one of my favorite gimmicks of all time. He lied. He cheated. And he stole. But at least he was honest about it. Eddie was one of the wrestlers responsible for popularizing Luche Libre style wrestling in America. Also, when Eddie was in WCW, he had one of the best shirts ever. The front said, “Eddie Guerrero Is My Favorite Wrestler” and the back said “Cheat To Win”. Words to live by, people. If anyone knows where I can score one of those shirts, lemme know.

Peace out, Vato Loco.

If it wasn’t for this damn Powerbook, my modded XBox would be the #1 favourite electronic device in the house, and not for its more unsavoury aspects, but because of a piece of software called the XBox Media Center, or XBMC for short.

In a nutshell, the XBMC makes it possible to stream media from the computer to the home entertainment system: video to the TV, music through the surround sound. If you’ve ever sat watching a movie at your desk, or wished it was easier to change your music without going over to your computer, this is the device you’ve been waiting for. Sure, it requires spending $100 to get your XBox modded by someone, and there’s some definite fiddling and fussing to get it working just right, but it’s so worth the hassle involved. This device is my entertainment hub, bar none.

Here’s another thing about it: it’s open-source software, meaning it’s free to use and modify as you see fit. And that’s the real kicker, a comparable solution like Microsoft’s Media Center OS is only available with a new computer and is handcuffed by having to abide to the rules set by media companies. The XBMC, however, isn’t artificially crippled, and is created by the user for the user, for free.

But I think the thing most impressive about XBMC is how it’s improved, especially in the last year. Before then, it was functional, but suffered from general bugginess and a rather uninspired interface. More recently, it’s become much more solid, and the reinvented look, though overly dark, is very polished and easy to use. Best of all, it shows the commitment of the developers, which bodes well for its future development.

The upcoming XBox 360 will integrate with Microsoft’s Media Center, but I have my doubts if it can touch the continually improving XBMC and its extensive functionality, at least initally.

There are some great inventions in the world, this is for certain. It has been humanities ability to invent and create that put us to the top of the food chain. Without our weapons and gizmos we would all be the victim of the Crawbear and other relentless predators.

Today we are able to celebrate an invention known as the fleshlight. It comes in an array of colors, textures and varied openings. It looks like a flashlight, but instead of using it to find candles when the power is out – you just fuck it.

Here’s a strange news story about an Assistant Manager at McDonalds who basically abused one of her female employees because someone on the phone told her to do it. The person on the phone was pretending to be a cop, and said that the girl employee had stolen something from a customer.

This reminds me of Milgram’s Study of Obedience where people administered shocks to test subjects because someone in a uniform was giving the orders. Some people just can’t say no to an authority figure. I think I’m just gonna dress like Optimus Prime and yell at people to get outta my way when I want to get to the front of a crowded bar and order a drink.

“I need 3 Labatt Blue… ASAP!! Transform and roll out!!”

I spent the summer before taking animation in college reading up on as much theory and history as I could find on the subject, and the book that had the most profound affect on me was John Canemaker’s biography of Disney’s Nine Old Men. In the book Canemaker not only examines the lives and works of these nine groundbreaking artists but also subtly weaves in the story of the entire studio, including their mentors and their protégés. It was my first true exposure to the humanity behind the scenes.

Once, during an especially grueling all-nighter in college, I put down my pencil and collapsed, convinced that I wasn’t talented enough to continue in the field. A few hours later I awoke from a dream, one where I saw animators of the past toiling away at their desks, pulling pranks in the hallways, and nervously evaluating their work in the sweatbox. These were average joes, drinking buddies and family men, prompted by pride in their hard-earned skills to elevate an art form. They weren’t all necessarily natural talents, but their drive allowed them to innovate and succeed, creating the foundation upon which I rely on every day. I got up, went back to work and I haven’t stopped since.

Ollie Johnston is the last remaining member of the Nine Old Men. He was awarded the National Medal of Arts this past week for his contribution to the advancement of animation, the first animator to receive this distinction. I like to think that this honor also reaches back to those who came before him, those who worked beside him, and those who have learned from him, either directly or through the vast history of knowledge all animators share. Congratulations, Mr. Johnston, and thanks.

My mom’s recently moved, and in a bit of a shocker, her neighbour has a 2005 BMW 745i, an absolutely insane ride, and my favourite car in recent years. It’s part torture/part elation then, every time I visit my mom and see it sitting in the driveway.

Ever since Chris Bangle’s infamous redesign of their entire line, BMW has been the apple of my automotive eye, and the 745i more than all others. I’m sure part of it is the allure of big money, the base model comes in at over $70,000CDN, but it’s more than that, as there’s similarly priced vehicles that don’t capture my imagination as vividly. BMW’s attention to detail is very apparent, and the design much more artistic and pronounced than their competitors. Bangle’s termed the exterior look “Flame Surfacing”, which, according to BMW:

“gives body surfaces the freedom to turn in on themselves, lending a high degree of visual tension…a controlled tension whose energy pervades the entire visual image without in any way diminishing the vehicle’s overall harmony.”

Ok, so you’ve got that, plus all the trappings of a luxury vehicle, combined with the KITT style light bar on the rear of the car, and that’s not even considering the way a BMW drives. Basically, that’s a car that makes me stop whatever I’m doing just to watch it drive past. Seriously, ask Karissa.

It’s not all good though, the new 2006 models seem to have regressed to pre-Bangle designs (which were not a hit with the paying customers ) so I’m drifting a bit—right now I’m a big fan of the Scion xB, but that’s another topic entirely.

I’ve decided to enter NaNoWriMo this year. The following is an exerpt from my novel, El Chupacabra contra los Zombies. Revisions are for sissies.

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world.” – Ephesians 6:12

It had been too long since he had felt the touch of another human being. Every drunken stumble into his rock hard physique was something to savour for the year ahead, until the next time he could show himself in public. He had no shame in the mask. No, for as much as he may have dishonoured himself, he had never fallen so far down as to allow the mask itself to be disgraced. It was the man underneath that was tarnished goods. And yet, it was his outright refusal to discard the mask, that which he hadn’t taken off in over a decade, which imprisoned him. For no one knew who was underneath that silver disguise, and to simply rip it off once and for all would allow him to walk the streets without pause and end his lonely exile. There were nights where El Chupacabra found the situation uproarious, and he would laugh well into the night until he collapsed sobbing, his tears collecting at the bottom of this silver prison.

But tonight was Halloween, and The Goat Sucker danced.

Equator Books, in Venice has on display now through December 1st the “Lucho Loco” featuring Malcom Venville photos of wrestlers of Mexico City. This site has selections from his work. I can’t decide on a favorite. I’m pretty much lovin’ Hijo De Ultraman, but Dr. Cerebro looks like he can kick you in the mind at the drop of a hat.

Super Porky is also a favorite, if only for his gimmick. The guy is always carrying some form of pork with him. Both for eating and for use as a foreign object in the ring. A fat man like me appreciates that kind of chicanery.

I wonder when American wrestling companies are going to learn once and for all that masks are what it’s all about.

link via BoingBoing

Here’s a riddle for you: I haven’t been watching much hockey this year, yet I still see every Leafs game. How, you ask?

Pretty simple—I subscribe to LeafsTV.

For $2 a month, Leafs TV provides the exceptional service of condensing an entire hockey game into an hour, soon after the game’s finished. It’s called, appropriately enough, Game-in-an-Hour.

Think about it, you subtract most of the commericals (A three hour hockey game will typically have fourty minutes of commericals, Game-in-an-Hour only ten), the icings, the minor scrums, all the boring bits of a hockey game, and just watch what’s left. It’s pure hockey from start to finish.

I’ll usually watch the Leafs on Hockey Night in Canada, but for any game during the week, it’s great to be able to skip the live broadcast and not be limited to just watching the sports show highlight reel.

“Son, I’ve seen more dead bodies then you’ve had T.V. dinners.” – Carl Kolchak

Last month I purchased a DVD box set containing the complete Kolchak : The Night Stalker television series. I haven’t seen the original two made-for-T.V. movies that preceded it, barely had any information on the series at all, and still have no real explanation as to why I made such an impulsive purchase. I’m glad I did, because I’m enjoying the hell out of it.

Kolchak is kind of like a fictional In Search Of… Every episode the intrepid reporter explores one of the 70’s many strange fascinations with the unexplained and esoteric. Moss men, Native American bear gods and the missing link roam the back streets of Chicago. Mannequins and androids become sentient and kill. Jack the Ripper still wanders the alleyways looking for prey. I find the atmosphere of 70’s horror, evident in Kolchak, to be especially discomforting. The grainy camera work and cheap special effects make everything look seedy and unwholesome, reminiscent of the infamous Patterson-Gimlin sasquatch footage.

It almost looks too worn in to be fake.

I started making sketches from the show while watching them. Usually I’ll try to simplify and caricature a drawing, but I didn’t get any real pleasure out of doing that with Kolchak. Sketching in a more realistic style was more satisfying to me, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I was emulating (poorly) all those fantastic Filipino artists who worked on DC’s horror, western and other predominantly non-superhero material during the 70’s. The work of Tony DeZuniga and E.R. Cruz, among many others. Evidently their work still haunts me, like the spirit of a headless biker.