My Dad has been a goalie for most of his life. Practically every weekend in the winter during my childhood I would go out to the rink and catch a game. My favourite hockey memory ever was when my Uncle, who usually played on the same teams as my Dad, dropped the gloves and started hammering some goon. It became a free-for-all, with both teams jumping in for a piece. During the carnage I looked over to the crease to check on my Dad and I caught him leaning against his net, watching the whole thing with a bemused look on his face. Not long after the other goalie skated on over, they exchanged pleasantries, and both began giving colour commentary on the carnage playing out before them.
Yeah, my Dad’s alright.
It’s easy to get jaded after reading hundreds of Archie stories. The same themes keep reoccuring over and over. Jugehead and Reggie duke it out in a battle of wits. A rival school or band try to take out the Archie gang only to have their plan backfire. Big Moose hits on Archie. After awhile you feel as if you’ve seen it all a couple dozen times apiece. That’s why the 21-page monster epic Dimension Thirteen threw me for a loop.
Sabrina The Teenage Witch uses her powers to save a kid from getting hit by a truck after which Blabby Brayson, who saw the whole thing, warns her to keep her witchery away from football practice. As if that weren’t bad enough, the child Sabrina saved is actually a robot decoy sent by her arch-enemy, the lithping Professor Pither who, in one of the only bits of continuity I have seen in an Archie story, references Li’l Archie’s former antagonist Doc Doom.
Professor Pither’s plan is to distract Sabrina by making the entire football team wary and hostile around around her while he attempts to steal the Dazzleton Diamond using his inframous Time Taxi. To exacerbate the situation, Pither uses his new “ditmenthion bender” to transport the team to Dimension Thirteen, leaving Sabrina to catch the blame for their disappearance. Distraught, Sabrina is contacted by head witch Della, who arrives on a “cloudicorn” and tells Sabrina that if she foils Pither’s plan and rescues the football team from a force field within a violent vortex in Dimension Thirteen she will be promoted to Teen Witch Second Class. And that’s just the set-up.
Will Sabrina rescue the Riverdale football squad from the Phantom Zone? How will her life change with having her secret revealed? And can Sabrina stop a torpedo without the use of her powers?
Christmas was especially generous to me this year, particularly in the way of portable electronics. Karissa’s early iPod present has become a constant companion, much like its namesake. A much bigger surprise was a Nintendo DS from my mother, wrapped up in my usual gift of white undershirts. She was so excited, she took a picture of me after I opened it, something she’s never done before.
For another thing, I now have enough alcohol to justify a liquor cabinet. It must have been my nightcap post, because I’m practically swimming in booze, with enough to potentially get me straight through 2006. I’m just thankful that I’m old enough for it all to be perfectly legitimate.
This year was also very very good to my Squirrel collection, with a beautiful ceramic cookie jar from Erin and Nuno, and a glass change dish from Karissa’s mom. Both worth additions to a collection that deserves a post of its own.
To top it off, Karissa and our moms travelled over to US to shop on Boxing Day, and I picked up some off-the-hook shit, including two pair of these S.Carter runners (One pair black, the other, white). The exchange rate is so insane right now it was like getting a single pair in Canada, everything I bought was a major steal. Totally topnotch.
How’s that for spoiled?
One of the great traditions of Christmas past came after all the presents had been unwrapped. It was then that you called all your pals and discussed what you received. It was almost like opening your gifts many times over, as you knew that your friends’ presents were in some way also yours to borrow and use. It is in the spirit of this long-dormant tradition that I call upon my fellow House of Irony colleagues to give us a rundown of the Christmas splendor they found under the tree this year.
I had a bit of a head start this holiday season. Since I was leaving for Vancouver a week before Christmas, I was entitled to crack open my gifts from Jada. To my delight, I received 10 horror DVDs, and in a surprise twist 8 of them were of Italian origin. Those early-70s to mid-80s Italian horror flicks delight me more then an eyeball impalement.
Easily the most thoughtful gift I received from Jada was a one-sheet poster for the North American release of Evil Eye by Mario Bava. This film is considered by many to be the first cinematic representation of the Giallo, a kind of film I’ve mentioned earlier. And it stars John Saxon. Is there any horror movie that wouldn’t benefit from more Saxon?
The gifts received from my family were equally impressive. My brothers Gary and Bob got me an animated Batman box set so I can finally start chucking my VHS copies. They also gave me the From Russia With Love video game, which I’ve been lusting over since I first heard that Sean Connery was contributing to the voice acting. It’s easy to pick up, tons of fun, and even if it wasn’t, they had me at 60’s era jetpack. And as if that weren’t enough, my brother Gary cobbled together the Skrull Kill Krew t-shirt pictured above. Long live Nobbler!
And finally, Santa Mom delivered the goods, including the prerequisite clothes. At this point in my life if I didn’t receive a bag of socks every year I would become emotionally crippled. In addition to these and other wonderfully practical gifts, she also bestowed upon me another four Italian horror movies. Oh, I am surrounded by Love.
A few Holiday-inspired comic links to get your Yuletide celebrations off to a good start.
In my position as Old Man Wintle, the House of Irony’s unofficial purveyor of early 20th Century comic strips, I highly recommend the excellent Comics periodical Hogan’s Alley. Christmas came early for me this year, as one of their many pieces of web content is a near-complete collection of Little Orphan Annie Christmas cards by Harold Gray. Believe it or not, Little Orphan Annie is one of my top-five favourite pieces of comics work ever, and this gallery is certainly a pleasant little Christmas gift.
My family has a Christmas tradition that has played out for a number of years, at least long enough now that I can’t remember it’s origin. Every year we take turns accusing each other of “ruining” Christmas. Anything, no matter how minor, can set us off. This year’s front runner for the person most likely to “ruin” Christmas is my Mom. She decided to give each of us one present before Christmas. When I opened mine, she realized that she had handed me the wrong gift, and yanked it back out of my hands in a panic, telling me that I should forget I saw it, thereby “ruining” Christmas. She’s not the only one attempting to “ruin” Christmas. Thrillmer, one of my all-time favourite comic blogs, has been posting a complete comic story entitled The Man Who Tried To Ruin Christmas. Perhaps the easiest way to access the story thus far is to go to Thrillmer’s various comics page or the text archives. It’s extremely gratifying to see that one of the most enjoyable and inspiring comic blogs around is still posting great material.
And finally, Dial B for Blog presents what may be the most compelling compilation of facts concerning two of the world’s most well-loved and recognizable icons. Jesus Christ and Superman.
Ok. We all know that the whole Santa thing is a myth perpetrated on us by our devious parents. It’s right up there with all the other lies we were told as children. Things like the Easter Bunny, The Tooth Fairy, and White Jesus. But I think some of us would still like to believe in something. If you want to re-capture your childhood and send a letter to someone, who better to send it to than Christopher Walken.
My favorite on that page, other than the one pictured above, is the Noah from NY letter.
I had hoped to share a special Chrsitmas edition of my weekly look at Archie and the gang, but unfortunately I’m in Vancouver with my family, and there isn’t a scanner in sight. Not to worry, though, Fred Hembeck has stepped up to the plate with a Giant-Sized Archie Christmas Love-In over at his weekly column on IGN.
And lest we forget the true meaning of Christmas, and Archie, here are a few Christian Archie comics published by Spire comics for your perusal.
