So I’ve been doing alot of motivational reading lately. Yeah yeah I can hear the comments now. Problem is, it works. The more I read up on this stuff, the more the ideas I have had for years become justified and reinforced by people who have “made it” already. The basic idea is simple, and one we’ve all heard for years. Know you can! It’s an unwavering belief that you will succeed, and life puts in your path that which you need most. The power of focused and directed thought is beyond what we allow ourselves to believe. So I have a story, and a theory to pose. First the story.
In 1954 one Roger Bannister did the impossible. For years, everyone said no human could ever run this fast. But he KNEW it was possible. And with an absolute belief it could be done, he ran the mile in 3 minutes and 59.4 seconds. Now here is the important part in this story. In this same year, 14 more people beat the 4 minute mile! All over the world people saw it was possible and their belief changed!
When I was a kid (I don’t know if anyone else did this too) but my parents would buy me a knew pair of shoes, and I would try them on inside the house, and then I would run around the house as fast as I could like a maniac! And my parents without fail would tell me how much faster I was with these shoes, and I believed it! Until one day at school some kid told me I was an idiot, and shoes don’t make you faster.
So here is my theory. What if you had a kid, and every time he got a new pair of shoes it was reinforced that he was faster with this new pair of shoes than his last. And somehow, he managed to get through gradeschool, highschool and college without anyone ever telling him different, and he makes it onto the track team. Would he be faster? Would getting a new pair of shoes make him faster still? Would telling him otherwise slow him down?
I’d like to take a minute and get serious about dental care, if only for the opportunity to go on about my new electric toothbrush, the Oral B CrossAction Power Max.
I’ve tried electric toothbrushes in the past, but every last one was strictly Mickey Mouse, like using a toy to clean my teeth. This new toothbrush is practically military-grade, and it’s more like a two minute assault on germs. Don’t believe me? This goddamn thing comes with its own charger, no batteries. No fooling, it’s like visiting the dentist every day, and my teeth have never felt better. I could practically be in a toothpaste commercial.
But, honestly, this breaks down to a case of investing in my 200 year future. How long before teeth can be regrown? 10 years? 20? The less time I have to sit in the dentist chair from here to then, the better. How about you, are you ready to make a commitment to yourself?
I think you are.
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This was a public service announcement from your friends at the House of Irony.
It took me a while to try it, but I’m totally hooked on Coca-Cola Zero. Through some sort of black magic, its toxic mixture of aspartame and acesulfame-potassium closely approximates the taste of Coca-Cola Classic.
I can not imagine how much regular Coke I’ve drank over my lifetime, but I’m sure it would come frighteningly close to the amount of plain water I’ve had. My consumption reached its zenith living with the boys in St.Catherines, especially with Doug around, who’s the only person I’ve known to drink more of the stuff than me. Hell, we were practically swimming in it, hopped up like junkies, the local Avondale living off our addiction. We stuck strictly to bottles, considering it a better fix than cans, and would collect so many per week we needed a dedicated recycling bin.
We started to reevaluate once Doug’s dentist discovered the enamel on his teeth was disintegrating from his habit. That definitely shocked us out of our caffeinated stupor, and we slowed down after that, though not by much.
And even after moving, I continued drinking Coke in moderation until recently, when I realized the amount of sugar in each can was in direct opposition to my plans for healthy living. A difficult decision, let me tell you, but there’s no way to justify 14 teaspoons of sugar for a single drink. Not even bothering to consider Diet Coke, I had a rebound relationship with Diet Mountain Dew ENERGY!, but it was a brief affair, its taste unable to keep my interest. I was beginning to think I would have to abandon pop altogether.
So you can imagine why I love Coca-Cola Zero and its startling likeness to the Real Thing™. The differences are hardly noticeable, a little less sugary and a little more spicy, and it seems a lot more carbonated than the original. But even though it’s not exactly pitch-perfect, and I do worry about the long term effects of sugar alternatives like aspartame, it’s probably the best option short of quitting pop, which hardly seems like an option at all, if you ask me.
I’ve recently stopped eating potato chips.
I don’t know, I’ve been a chip junkie since before I can remember, a wonderful trait no doubt programmed into me by my snacking mother. The problem is that chips are just plain awful for you, especially eating them at night while watching TV, right before bed. So I cut them out, switching to cashews and homemade chex mix.
I’ve got to tell the truth, I’m starting to feel like some weird hippie survivalist spouting all this healthy living shit, but I’m realizing my plan to live 200 years isn’t going to be easy—Hell, it could be downright hard. Disregarding the upcoming Singularity, who knows how long it will take to perfect immortality? I may have to hold out 100 years for my posthuman miracle cure, strictly by my own will and wits. Don’t think I’m going to get there eating fried potatoes and sitting on the couch. Things done changed.
Actually, while I’m on the topic, I do have a request of the scientific industry: I’d love it if you could develop a mass-market meal-in-a-pill, with the full nutrition and all that jive. That way, I could be done with this whole eating thing altogether, and I could concentrate more on my drinking.
To continue in the vein of yesterday’s post, I’ve recently discovered another perfect combo: exercise and video games.
I don’t know about you, but I play a lot of video games, or rather—I love to play them but can hardly justify the time, especially in light of my recent TV binging. And not only that, I never exercise, and really, disregarding cybernetics (and the power of blueberries), how do I expect to live to 200 without exercising?
Considering these two tasks, I formed a life lesson, broken down into a convenient formula: take something that you absolutely despise but have to do, and combine it with something you desparately love to do but can’t find the time for. The exact opposites will cancel themselves out, leaving you in a state not pleasant, but painful either.
With this in mind, and after solving some technical problems (namely, what game system to use and what game to play), I’m now playing video games while riding the stationary bike. I’ve started off at 30 minutes a day, and the time disappears in an instant, a curious turn of events considering my previous attempts at regular exercise. As a matter of fact, at first I was only intending to ride every other day, but find it impossible to skip a day, the previously stated love of video games coming into effect.
I have to admit, as a lifehack formula, it’s a rather specialized equation, as such contrary tasks rarely fit so well together. Still, finding this single application is perfect enough, isn’t it?
