The House of Irony / Zombies

“I began to realize that it was not a Western, in a way – that it was an Italian film: that it was more in the Italian theatrical tradition, which is opera.” – Scorsese on Leone, from Christopher Frayling’s Once Upon A Time In Italy

It’s unbelievable to me how many Italian films of the 60s and 70s I’ve watched recently, from zombies to gialli to westerns, and the entire time I’ve found myself questioning what it is that’s pulled me in. I began watching these films in the first place based upon recommendations from more learned film aficionados, but in the beginning I had a hard time getting through them. They weren’t constructed in a way that my North American tastes were accustomed to. Over time I was able to adapt to this kind of filmmaking, slowly letting it seep into my subconscious, much like my introduction to films from the East a few years ago. Possibly the most important breakthrough for me was in reading quotes like the one above. Instead of trying to force my cultural sensibilities upon Italian cinema, I relaxed and allowed myself to just take them as they were, and get what I could from them in the meantime.

A great deal of Italian horror cinema of that period seems to rely more on style then substance, which makes a certain amount of sense if you consider that the power of both horror and film can often diminished when put in service to narrative. In fact, like opera, their greatest strength is in conveying emotion. Argento is the most obvious suspect here and is the one director in particular who has come under the most fire for creating films which make little sense structurally. Hell, he’s even made two films devoted to the opera.

This all leads to the reason why I’ve decided to write these thoughts down; Sean T. Collins’ negative review of Zombie 2. As he points out, much of Fulci’s world makes little sense. But it’s precisely that shifting, nightmare world that gives the horror in his films their strength. It’s a vision concerned less with empathizing with the characters or creating a plausible storyline then making the viewer very uncomfortable. This isn’t just the ascendancy of emotion over logic, but the absolute eradication of reason altogether, a terrifying concept in itself. From a purely intellectual viewpoint, Collins could find very little to recommend Zombie 2. But like take-out eaten right before bedtime, the film turned in his stomach and gave him some fairly nasty nightmares, and that ability to terrify on a subconscious level is precisely why so many have turned to Argento, Fulci and his contemporaries.

One of the most divisive questions of the new millennium is certainly the controversial “Should zombies be set aflame?” To its proponents, this method of undead elimination combines all the best traits of other strategies while adding a few not found elsewhere. Fire can be used from a distance, doesn’t require as much precision as a firearm, and completely incinerates the zombie thereby leaving no possibilty of a surprise ressurection. Perhaps the greatest advantage of fire is that it will sometimes spread to surrounding zombies, allowing for larger then normal zombie casualties with a minimum of effort.

Despite these impressive claims, there are a growing number of critics of this wanton approach to zombie destruction, foremost among them the Zombie Information Council. The Council believes that setting a zombie on fire, while it will neutralize the threat eventually, actually increases the possibilty of bodily injury or death in the short-term. These flaming zombies not only possess a ravenous craving for human flesh that enable them to temporarily ignore the searing heat that has engulfed them, but can and will set any potential victims aflame if caught, making escape from a grappling zombie nearly impossible. Perhaps most importantly, fire isn’t exclusive to zombies, and may spread to the adjoining environment. With the collapse of society, there would be no groups in place to extinguish the flames which may wipe out entire neighbourhoods, even cities.

I leave the question to you. Is setting fire to zombies a safe and viable alternative to other methods of undead eradication, or does it only serve to create insanely dangerous hordes of flaming zombies?

I’ve decided to enter NaNoWriMo this year. The following is an exerpt from my novel, El Chupacabra contra los Zombies. Revisions are for sissies.

“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world.” – Ephesians 6:12

It had been too long since he had felt the touch of another human being. Every drunken stumble into his rock hard physique was something to savour for the year ahead, until the next time he could show himself in public. He had no shame in the mask. No, for as much as he may have dishonoured himself, he had never fallen so far down as to allow the mask itself to be disgraced. It was the man underneath that was tarnished goods. And yet, it was his outright refusal to discard the mask, that which he hadn’t taken off in over a decade, which imprisoned him. For no one knew who was underneath that silver disguise, and to simply rip it off once and for all would allow him to walk the streets without pause and end his lonely exile. There were nights where El Chupacabra found the situation uproarious, and he would laugh well into the night until he collapsed sobbing, his tears collecting at the bottom of this silver prison.

But tonight was Halloween, and The Goat Sucker danced.

Being the rampant survivalist that I am, I like to be prepared for any eventuality that may lead to me being one of a handful of people still alive. Praise be to the Lord, then, that I discovered a Zombie Infection Simulator.

It is my sincerest hope that this is a fully scientific and thorough digital representation of such an outbreak, as I’m basing much of my strategy on these simulations. I must express concern though, the spread seems unstoppable, and I’ve watched many a virtual human fall victim to its horrible grasp.

Adding insult to injury, some goof even made a game of it, though it does afford a potential solution to stemming the flood of undead. Perhaps I should be stocking up on missiles and nukes, as a preparatory measure.

Be vigilant, my friends.